Buster, the white-colored, brown-spotted terrier dog here. Eddie is the brown-colored, bob-tailed dog. We are not famous chefs. You’re thinking of course not, dogs don’t have opposable thumbs so cooking would be difficult. But, we know good food from bad food. What makes us food experts and connoisseurs are our refined and sensitive olfactory abilities and our delicate and discerning palates.

We are not food snobs, either. Our staple is lamb and rice kibble. This is the center piece for all of our meals. Usually we have fresh vegetables added to our kibble. Depending on the season we have cauliflower, broccoli, green beans, or brussel sprouts. In the summer time we occasionally get asparagus. Sweet potato chips are given as treats. However, Eddie prefers his entrées garnished with crushed sweet potato chips. On special occasions or merely celebrating our joie de vivre we have real meat with our kibble. Canned salmon is our favorite. The list includes canned tuna, canned sardines, vienna sausages, and potted meat.

We know there are some foods we should never, ever eat even though they would be quite tasty. Since we lack a certain degree of self control when it comes to glorious tasting food we rely on Mister Tom’s better judgment not to offer those foods.

We are not allowed table scraps. When people food is being prepared in the kitchen and when people are at the table eating we have to be out of the way. Our pal, Miss Jan, taught us that very well. When we hear the command “bug off” we retreat to another room.

GOURMETS (Copyright 2014 by Buster J. Brown and Captain Eddie)

Not schooled in the culinary arts,
Yet, on cuisine we are smart.

Broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus,
All on our “approved” list.

Green beans; frozen, canned or fresh,
Are welcome additions in our dish.

Brussel sprouts are another favorite,
About which we are passionate.

Canned pumpkin is always popular,
Luscious and a good source of fiber.

Salmon grilled fresh is alright,
But the potted variety is our delight.

Oil of cod liver,
Might make people shiver.

Yet dressing kibble in moderate measure,
It makes our dining quite a pleasure.

Just so you understand,
We’re less gourmets, more gourmands.

Buster and I moan and grumble about a lot of the things Mister Tom does. We reluctantly let him keep our fur coats brushed and stripped. He pokes around to keep our ears cleaned and toe nails clipped. If our feeties get muddy outside he washes them off with warm water when we get in the house. We make a fuss even though we are rewarded with treats.

There is never enough kibble in our food bowls. Instead of all kibble, Mister Tom puts icky vegetables in our bowls! Only rarely do we get stinky canned salmon (our favorite) with our kibble. He makes lots and lots of dehydrated sweet potato chips as treats for us. But, he is awfully stingy in handing out treats. He NEVER gives us enough treats during the day.

OUR LAMENTS (Copyright 2014 by Captain Eddie and Buster J. Brown)

We grouse and fidget at his attention,
Especially when it’s not our intention,
To have our coats brushed clean,
Renewing their softness and sheen.

We know when he’ll commence,
Some other grooming offense,
Maintaining our handsome appearance,
He’s greeted by our impertinence.

Bowls filled with food we hungrily gobble,
Barely taking a breather to swallow.
Instead of taking time to relish and savor,
In blink of an eye it’s all devoured.

When we’re offered treats quite tasty,
Our attention focused quite hastily.
Acting as if verging on starvation,
Other interests quickly abandoned.

My years of training have paid off. Countless hours spent working and practicing. Painstaking attention to detail. Confusion and frustration when things didn’t go as planned. Trying different techniques when conventional methods didn’t work. Yet, my consistency and persistence have been rewarded. I have achieved a measure of predictability. I have successfully trained Mister Tom to do what I want, when I want, most of the time. It was more difficult than you might expect. You see, I was the first dog ever to adopt him. I had my work cut out because he was previously untrained by dogs. I had to teach him to respond to my oral commands as well as some clever non-oral signals. Eddie does not appreciate how lucky he is to have an “already-trained” people critter.

Mister Tom knows the “signal” when I have an itch and want my hind quarters scratched. I just back up to him and move my hind quarters left and right. I pace back and forth from Mister Tom to the outside door when I have to go outside. Sometimes Mister Tom needs an additional signal so I will grab my Flexi-lead and sit with it by the door.

I make it my practice to remind Mister Tom of our dinner time every day. This involves a combination of signals and oral cues. I find Mister Tom and stick close by him. Occasionally I make a sighing, whimpering sound. This has to be my best work. Neither Eddie nor I have ever missed a meal, ever. I signal Mister Tom when it is time for my raw hide chip treat. I sit in front of the kitchen cabinet where they are stored and look up to the cabinet and then look back to Mister Tom. He understands what he then needs to do.

In the end my work has paid off. I have myself a fairly well-trained people critter in Mister Tom.

OBEDIENCE TRAINING (Copyright 2014 by Buster J. Brown)

Time to go on my constitutional,
I engage in a well-rehearsed ritual.
Pace back and forth on the floor,
Eventually he heeds, we head to the door.

A pesky itch on my back,
Needs attention with a vigorous scratch.
I back into place along his side,
And wait for fingers to be applied.

Gentle reminders it’s dinner time,
I pester, and fidget, and occasionally whine.
Much lead time is required for this,
He can be stubborn and obstinate.

Ingenious signals, touches and cues,
These are the methods I use,
To keep him well trained and obedient,
And, mindful of his canine resident.

Buster here with Eddie. Remember, Buster (me) is the mostly white-colored dog with the brown spots. Eddie is the mostly brown-colored dog with the bobbed tail. We never argue about who is handsomer (ME, BUSTER). Eddie and I have never met a people critter we did not like. Well, . . ., there was one man (and only one) a few years ago, but I digress. We are friendly with everybody and want everybody to be our pal. Anybody can become a Pal-O-Buster™ or a Pal-O-Eddie™. Eddie is always in search of pets, scratches and the human touch. I like pets and scratches, too, but would much prefer treats instead. Even when Mister Tom inadvertently steps on our feeties we do not get angry. We feel hurt, but never angry. From a distance if we hear people laughing and having a good time our tails will start wagging.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!

PALS (Copyright 2014 by Buster J. Brown and Captain Eddie)

Mixed breed dogs of births ignoble.
Friendly to all upon whose paths we stumble.

Gregarious greetings and felicitous grins,
Our goal as always their hearts to win.

Sensitive, we can tell when people prefer,
Not to engage us, so we defer.

Yet mostly we are apt to find,
Our greetings are returned, in kind.

Even when we meet the bleak and sullen,
We see how magical our gleeful emotions.

Nothing that tail wags cannot fix,
If that’s not enough we’ll give ‘em a lick.

Life’s true innocence rewarded in the end,
When we find we have a new friend.