Buster, the white-colored, brown-spotted terrier dog here. Eddie is the brown-colored, bob-tailed dog. We are not famous chefs. You’re thinking of course not, dogs don’t have opposable thumbs so cooking would be difficult. But, we know good food from bad food. What makes us food experts and connoisseurs are our refined and sensitive olfactory abilities and our delicate and discerning palates.

We are not food snobs, either. Our staple is lamb and rice kibble. This is the center piece for all of our meals. Usually we have fresh vegetables added to our kibble. Depending on the season we have cauliflower, broccoli, green beans, or brussel sprouts. In the summer time we occasionally get asparagus. Sweet potato chips are given as treats. However, Eddie prefers his entrées garnished with crushed sweet potato chips. On special occasions or merely celebrating our joie de vivre we have real meat with our kibble. Canned salmon is our favorite. The list includes canned tuna, canned sardines, vienna sausages, and potted meat.

We know there are some foods we should never, ever eat even though they would be quite tasty. Since we lack a certain degree of self control when it comes to glorious tasting food we rely on Mister Tom’s better judgment not to offer those foods.

We are not allowed table scraps. When people food is being prepared in the kitchen and when people are at the table eating we have to be out of the way. Our pal, Miss Jan, taught us that very well. When we hear the command “bug off” we retreat to another room.

GOURMETS (Copyright 2014 by Buster J. Brown and Captain Eddie)

Not schooled in the culinary arts,
Yet, on cuisine we are smart.

Broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus,
All on our “approved” list.

Green beans; frozen, canned or fresh,
Are welcome additions in our dish.

Brussel sprouts are another favorite,
About which we are passionate.

Canned pumpkin is always popular,
Luscious and a good source of fiber.

Salmon grilled fresh is alright,
But the potted variety is our delight.

Oil of cod liver,
Might make people shiver.

Yet dressing kibble in moderate measure,
It makes our dining quite a pleasure.

Just so you understand,
We’re less gourmets, more gourmands.

Buster and I moan and grumble about a lot of the things Mister Tom does. We reluctantly let him keep our fur coats brushed and stripped. He pokes around to keep our ears cleaned and toe nails clipped. If our feeties get muddy outside he washes them off with warm water when we get in the house. We make a fuss even though we are rewarded with treats.

There is never enough kibble in our food bowls. Instead of all kibble, Mister Tom puts icky vegetables in our bowls! Only rarely do we get stinky canned salmon (our favorite) with our kibble. He makes lots and lots of dehydrated sweet potato chips as treats for us. But, he is awfully stingy in handing out treats. He NEVER gives us enough treats during the day.

OUR LAMENTS (Copyright 2014 by Captain Eddie and Buster J. Brown)

We grouse and fidget at his attention,
Especially when it’s not our intention,
To have our coats brushed clean,
Renewing their softness and sheen.

We know when he’ll commence,
Some other grooming offense,
Maintaining our handsome appearance,
He’s greeted by our impertinence.

Bowls filled with food we hungrily gobble,
Barely taking a breather to swallow.
Instead of taking time to relish and savor,
In blink of an eye it’s all devoured.

When we’re offered treats quite tasty,
Our attention focused quite hastily.
Acting as if verging on starvation,
Other interests quickly abandoned.

My years of training have paid off. Countless hours spent working and practicing. Painstaking attention to detail. Confusion and frustration when things didn’t go as planned. Trying different techniques when conventional methods didn’t work. Yet, my consistency and persistence have been rewarded. I have achieved a measure of predictability. I have successfully trained Mister Tom to do what I want, when I want, most of the time. It was more difficult than you might expect. You see, I was the first dog ever to adopt him. I had my work cut out because he was previously untrained by dogs. I had to teach him to respond to my oral commands as well as some clever non-oral signals. Eddie does not appreciate how lucky he is to have an “already-trained” people critter.

Mister Tom knows the “signal” when I have an itch and want my hind quarters scratched. I just back up to him and move my hind quarters left and right. I pace back and forth from Mister Tom to the outside door when I have to go outside. Sometimes Mister Tom needs an additional signal so I will grab my Flexi-lead and sit with it by the door.

I make it my practice to remind Mister Tom of our dinner time every day. This involves a combination of signals and oral cues. I find Mister Tom and stick close by him. Occasionally I make a sighing, whimpering sound. This has to be my best work. Neither Eddie nor I have ever missed a meal, ever. I signal Mister Tom when it is time for my raw hide chip treat. I sit in front of the kitchen cabinet where they are stored and look up to the cabinet and then look back to Mister Tom. He understands what he then needs to do.

In the end my work has paid off. I have myself a fairly well-trained people critter in Mister Tom.

OBEDIENCE TRAINING (Copyright 2014 by Buster J. Brown)

Time to go on my constitutional,
I engage in a well-rehearsed ritual.
Pace back and forth on the floor,
Eventually he heeds, we head to the door.

A pesky itch on my back,
Needs attention with a vigorous scratch.
I back into place along his side,
And wait for fingers to be applied.

Gentle reminders it’s dinner time,
I pester, and fidget, and occasionally whine.
Much lead time is required for this,
He can be stubborn and obstinate.

Ingenious signals, touches and cues,
These are the methods I use,
To keep him well trained and obedient,
And, mindful of his canine resident.

Buster here with Eddie. Remember, Buster (me) is the mostly white-colored dog with the brown spots. Eddie is the mostly brown-colored dog with the bobbed tail. We never argue about who is handsomer (ME, BUSTER). Eddie and I have never met a people critter we did not like. Well, . . ., there was one man (and only one) a few years ago, but I digress. We are friendly with everybody and want everybody to be our pal. Anybody can become a Pal-O-Buster™ or a Pal-O-Eddie™. Eddie is always in search of pets, scratches and the human touch. I like pets and scratches, too, but would much prefer treats instead. Even when Mister Tom inadvertently steps on our feeties we do not get angry. We feel hurt, but never angry. From a distance if we hear people laughing and having a good time our tails will start wagging.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!

PALS (Copyright 2014 by Buster J. Brown and Captain Eddie)

Mixed breed dogs of births ignoble.
Friendly to all upon whose paths we stumble.

Gregarious greetings and felicitous grins,
Our goal as always their hearts to win.

Sensitive, we can tell when people prefer,
Not to engage us, so we defer.

Yet mostly we are apt to find,
Our greetings are returned, in kind.

Even when we meet the bleak and sullen,
We see how magical our gleeful emotions.

Nothing that tail wags cannot fix,
If that’s not enough we’ll give ‘em a lick.

Life’s true innocence rewarded in the end,
When we find we have a new friend.

One of my important responsibilities is guarding the house. This includes my house, and when I am there, my grandma’s house and the house in the north woods. I guard the house from wild critters close by. At my house we can have coyotes prowling about in the neighborhood at night. The coyotes travel through the big playfield behind my house and along the easement behind the houses in the neighborhood. Occasionally we get a marauding raccoon or possum in the area. There are a lot of bunnies that live nearby. The bunnies like to hang out in my backyard underneath the bushes and cedar trees. Just so you know, bunnies pose no threat but it sure is fun to chase them. The same wild critters are around the house in the north woods. Additional threats I face up north are white-tailed deer, porcupines, fishers, gray wolves, black bear, and cougars. I bark to let Mister Tom know about any critter escapades. Otherwise he would be clueless.

A related responsibility is guarding against the roving bands of evil-doing upholstery thieves. To that end, I fling myself in harm’s way by placing my body directly between the upholstered furniture and potential threat. I generally lie on the upholstered furniture to ensure that I am not caught off guard, and I’m ready to immediately spring into action.

GUARD DUTY (Copyright 2013 by Buster J. Brown)

Strange animals in the neighborhood,
I alert him like any sentry would.
Hackles raised and menacing growl,
Now he’s aware that critters prowl.

If he sleeps, I urgently wake him,
Using whines and cries and physical action.
Sometimes I have to be persistent,
If I encounter his sleepy resistance.

With me and Eddie, our constant vigilance,
Security ne’er breached, not one instance.
Debt owed for a job well done,
Thanks and praise in satisfaction.

Guarding furniture, my actions more subtle,
Keeping low profile in case there is trouble.
I feign comfy, sleepy composure,
In case nearby lurks a furniture burglar.

He insists my furniture guarding, merely a ruse,
My subterfuge for an afternoon snooze.
Yet all upholstery remains in place,
No evil doers have breached this space!

Mostly us dogs like food and treats that you people critters find stinky. For us, the stinkier the better. Cheese can be stinky, and Eddie and I like cheese treats. Our regular followers know that we LOVE potted meat mixed into our kibble (see the poem Ode to Potted Meat posted April 16, 2013). Canned salmon is the best! All of these are pretty stinky. However, Mister Tom started giving us dehydrated sweet potato chips as treats. They are yummy. He takes whole sweet potatoes, slices them thin, and then puts them into the food dehydrator. They make the whole house smell sweet when they are drying.

FAVORITE TREAT (Copyright 2013 by Buster J. Brown)

A fresh vegetable is used to make,
A treat I will always take.

I supervise each and every step,
Each time he thanks me for my help.

First they’re washed and patted dry,
I watch with careful eye.

Meticulously sliced thin,
Then into the drying bin.

Now ahead the long wait,
Aroma through the house permeates.

I check their status frequently,
Attention focused most doggedly.

The wait seems almost endless,
As I contemplate their lusciousness.

Long wait and angst all worth it,
For crispy, dried, sweet potato chips!

White-colored, brow-spotted Buster here. I intended on publishing my poem about my favorite home-made treat this week. Instead, I wrote a poem about one of my favorite activities, namely snoozing. Mister Tom says I am an expert at snoozing!

You people critters do not seem to grasp the complicated nature of the dog sleep equation. Sleeping is a science and art form for us dogs; as are the associated activities. There is the task of finding the perfect place for a snooze. There is the decision on whether I should actually sleep or luxuriate in simply lying down for peaceful reflection and contemplation. Myriad other variables influence the dog sleep calculus. Do I want to feel the comforting warmth of sun shining through a window? Do I want the soothing coolness of a hard surfaced floor? Sometimes the softness of the sleep location is critical. Do I want the softness of my regular bed? Do I want the chamois smoothness of the mat lining the bottom of my crate? Do I want to covertly rest on Mister Tom’s bed while lying my head on his pillows? Or, I may want to feel the unique coolness followed by warmth and softness of the leather sofa in the family room. It is exasperating that some of the variables are mutually exclusive. Not all combinations are possible. A cool soothing surface may not be appropriately soft. What if I want coolness underneath and warmth on my back?

Moreover, once my rest is finished, stretching and yawning have to be executed precisely to wring out the last bit of delight from the total sleep experience.

ALL THINGS SLEEP (Copyright 2013 by Buster J. Brown)

Start by finding the perfect location,
Consider the options and plan of action.

Warm sun shining through a window,
Feels good on muscle and sinew.

The coolness of a hardwood floor,
My energy to renew and restore.

Cushy comfort might be what I seek,
Each soft location quite unique.

Do I want to feel the human touch?
I hope that’s not asking too much.

Once site and conditions chosen,
Drift into sleep’s gentle haven.

When I awake refreshed and relaxed,
My last delight in a good long stretch!

By now I think our followers have figured out that Eddie and I like being outside. It doesn’t matter what time of the year it is. There are always things happening outside. Our feeties will get cold sometimes in the winter when there is snow on the ground and it is bitter, bitter cold. Otherwise, we like it outside. Mister Tom talks to us on our excursions. When there are critters around he tells us about the critters. We know to look to the trees when he says “squirrel.” We know when he says “bunnies” that they stay put on the ground so we go look in their usual hiding places. My favorite bird critters are my crow buddies. When I hear them outside I look around to see if I can spot them. I tilt my head to one side when the crows make their “caw, caw” sound. Just in my neighborhood there is a red-tailed hawk that sometimes sits on the railing by the front door. The Great Horned Owl lives nearby, too. Possums and raccoons and skunks live around here. Mister Tom says we do not want to meet the skunk. Coyotes live in the neighborhood. When the coyotes are out and about in the middle of the night I make sure I wake up Mister Tom to let him know. He always thanks me for being such a good watch dog.

LATE AUTUMN (Copyright 2013 by Buster J. Brown)

Leaves are gone, grass is brown,
You’d think adventures would dwindle down.

Dreary, drizzly, damp and cold,
What enjoyment awaits this canine bold?

Yet in these last gray days of autumn,
Excitement looms around the corner.

Rabbits sheltered ‘gainst wind’s chill,
Now and then emerge they will.

And birds still flit from bush to tree,
They’re my pals, the chick-a-dees.

Migrating geese overnight in my field,
They congregate, stoic and steeled.

Early morning hear the Great Horned Owl,
I keep alert for coyotes on prowl.

Excursions to my yard ne’er some boring drill,
Being outside always brings a thrill.

OUR THANKSGIVING (Copyright 2013 by Buster J. Brown and Captain Eddie)

We’re thankful for our home and beds.
We’re thankful every time we’re fed.

We’re thankful for our pals and friends,
Who read our blog with time to spend.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!